Why Thinking is Hard
And Why it's Not the Reason You Think
Generally, thinking has a bad reputation. We contrast it with feeling or emotions. Or we compare it to instinct. And thinking doesn’t come out looking too good.
For example, if your instincts or intuition are telling you something is wrong, then thinking about it tends to mean you’re just rationalizing. Understandably, the better advice in that situation is to “follow your heart,” or, “listen to your intuition.”
But of course thinking has its place. Thinking means you’re rational. When you are in immediate danger or facing a complex issue, it’s smart to use your head. It’s important to remain calm and think clearly when you’re excited or triggered. Thinking keeps your emotions in check. But thinking is hard.
The common definition of thinking is something like: the act of the mental processes like considering, reflecting, or reasoning about information, ideas, or problems. Activities that, on their face, don’t sound too hard.
So, why is it that people don’t think? Why is it that people believe easily disprovable conspiracy theories? Why is it that the critical art of thinking seems to be in increasing decline?
Well, I think at least part of the answer is that our definition of thinking is missing something critical. Because while the traditional definitions that emphasize cognitive processes are helpful, I want to focus on the first step of the thinking process: stopping what you’re doing.
Thinking really starts with the act of making space, taking a timeout, or gaining perspective. For example:
Take time out from your immediate demands to figure out the next concrete action you can take on a complex issue. Or…
Pausing before jumping into a meeting to ask yourself, “What do I want to get out of this meeting?” Or…
Setting aside some protected time each week to review your existing commitments and goals and assess what, if anything, may need to change.
And this is why thinking is hard. It requires you to pull your consciousness out of the swirling chaos of your immediate experience, and then allowing your awareness to kinda hover above your experience as an observer. And from that position, you are better able to analyze and plan what you should do.
That’s why thinking is so hard for us to do. Not because we’re lazy or stupid. But because thinking requires us to take responsibility for managing our attention.
Strangely, this seems to happen more regularly and easily in groups. Organizations already know that any real planning or brainstorming or retrospective requires that teams set aside some time to dedicate to that effort (e.g. a brainstorming or planning meeting).
But when it comes to us as individuals, we rarely give ourselves the same kind of space. I think there are a few reasons for this—reasons, that if we identify and understand them, also point us towards solutions.
1. We keep ourselves busy fighting fires.
Sometimes, for example, we avoid thinking by responding to emergencies. When your life is complex (or it feels complex), emergencies are extremely clarifying. Sure, it can be stressful to always feel like you’re putting out fires, but at least you don’t have to deal with the ambiguity of not knowing what to do. A burning fire destroys things, but it creates lots of clarity for the firefighter who might otherwise be deliberating between washing the firetruck or putting away the helmets.
So, when you’re dealing with an emergency, you know you’re doing the right thing. And you are. But what happens if you run out of urgent demands? Well, you’d have to become aware of some things you might not want to. There is at least an incentive then, to keep yourself stuck in an addictive pattern where you fail to plan ahead, and then are rewarded with an opportunity to heroically save your own day again and again.
So, rather than taking time over the weekend to take a dispassionate look forward to the upcoming week, you just kinda wing it. You’re agile. Adaptive.
Rather than setting aside a few minutes before the meeting to get yourself grounded and present, you just jump into things. That’s how busy you are. You’re building the plane while you fly. *winks and shoots finger guns.
2. We keep ourselves busy helping others.
Or, maybe you like helping people to a fault. It certainly makes your world less complex. Rather than having the discipline to set some time aside to pause…and consider what you really want, you just respond to whatever others bring you! It feels good to be a helper. And it is. As long as it’s not an unconscious strategy to avoid your own thinking.
And it can easily become one. Because when people know you as a helper, they tend to ask for help. It’s a bit similar to the role of firefighter, only in this case you’re more interested in pulling people out, than dealing with the fire itself (unless of course someone wants you to deal with the fire).
The self-sacrificing martyr is another one of those drama cycles that reframes thinking as merely as expression of being smart and considerate. Social or relational intelligence is a form of intelligence, no doubt.
So, rather than telling your friend, “Oh I wish I could help you right now, but I’m in the middle of my weekly review…” you happily abandon your self-commitment in favor of playing your familiar role as helper.
3. If we do make space, we don’t want to spoil it with thinking.
The other problem is that even if we do have the discipline or recognize the need to take a break. Make some space. Take a time out. We only use it for rest and recovery. This is a great use of course, but we can also use that sense of spaciousness to do some brainstorming or planning.
I previously wrote an article on “expathy,” which is the difficult task of staying connected to someone even while you allow them to have their own experience (making it different than empathy). I think this balance of connection and distance is required for effective leadership, and in a similar way, clear thinking is a balance of making space and doing some inquiry.
Yet, too often these different energies or perspectives seem at odds with each other. Like we must choose between them. When in fact, they often work best when integrated together. So, taking time and making space is great. Just as long as it’s not an unconscious strategy to avoid your own thinking.
Conclusion
In the end, I prefer a definition of thinking that highlights the need to take a timeout from the immediate demands of the moment.
It means taking a step back to gain perspective. It doesn’t mean ignoring your instinctive or emotional needs, but it does mean making them wait sometimes.
Thinking is hard not because it’s particularly hard to do once we sit down to do it, but because distracting ourselves with our immediate demands is so much easier.
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But Don’t Take My Word For It:
Thinking is difficult, that's why most people judge. -Carl Jung
It seems to superficial observers that all Americans are born busy. It is not so. They are born with a fear of not being busy. -Charles Dudley Warner
THINK. -old IBM slogan
Thinking in a concentrated way to define desired outcomes and actions can be a challenge, but it’s necessary work if you want to have control and not be controlled. -David Allen
Revolutions are brought about by men who think as men of action and act as men of thought. -Kwame Nkrumah
I got an idea. An idea so smart that my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about. -Peter, Family Guy
Pretend your brain is a white board. Is it covered with to-do lists and “DO NOT ERASE!”? Is there space for drawing and combining ideas? -Jessica Kerr
There is no expedient to which man will not resort to avoid the real labor of thinking. -Sir Joshua Reynolds
“thinking requires us to take responsibility for managing our attention.” Bam. Right there. So on point. Lucid! I love your writing, always have. Thank you Chris!
Thanks for the feedback, Larisa! It made my day!